Stages of Recovery 

There are several consistent stages in recovery from an acquired brain injury. During the first phase, your visible injuries heal enough to make you truly aware of the emotional and cognitive damage left by your acquired brain injury. Often, you notice these changes only when you fell well enough to resume your daily routine and are faced with evidence that you are not the same person as before. You may experience a jumble of emotions.

The second phase of recovery – often the most difficult – has to do with accepting that you may never be the same again. Coping with this realization is made harder each time you catch a glimpse of your “old self” and recognize that some of your former capabilities are out of reach. You live with uncertainty, you struggle to establish new ways of doing things, and you experience setbacks that make you wonder whether you will ever get better. A support system is invaluable during this period.

The third phase of healing involves regaining independence and a sense of control. You will regain your self-confidence through seemingly minor accomplishments, learn to accept your limitations, and begin to explore previously untapped potential.

Healing from acquired brain injury is unlike recovering from an illness. You cannot say when you will begin to feel better, how you should pass the time, or how much care you would like from others. Recovery is completely individual. But you will achieve a positive outcome when you let go of the “old you', become confident about your new capabilities and fine-tune the coping skills that allow you to return to some form of independence. (Adapted from Coping with Mild Traumatic Brain Injury)

Characteristics of Being a Trauma Survivor

• We go to extremes of thoughts, feelings or actions
• We do the same things over and over again, even when it doesn't help us
• We live with confusion and create chaos
• We keep secrets, particularly secrets from ourselves
• We deny, or lack of awareness about ourselves
• We lose track of our real selves, our inner selves. We wear masks
• We feel powerless and vulnerable over things that matter
• We let others take over, and then blame them when things go wrong.
• Change is painful, particularly, change within us
• We over use our willpower and strengths
• We under use the attitude of willingness to learn new things about ourselves
• We turn our feelings of frustration and loss outward onto others
• We cling to the concept of our “old self”, even glamorizing it and idealizing it
• We see ourselves in terms of what we've lost, not what we've regained or gained
• Even though only one person sustained the injury, our families also were traumatized
• We judge ourselves harshly and have low self-esteem
• In trying to find a new way to appreciate ourselves, or in trying to find a way to feel helped, we often become dysfunctional, acting like rescuers, victims or persecutors

In Recovery, we need to allow ourselves to:

• Begin to allow balance in our lives
• Welcome our recurring actions and ask: “How is this serving me right now?”
• Recognize confusion as natural, identify it and deal with it now, before it builds into chaos
• Break secrets safely
• Allow our fears to surface in safe places
• Come to appreciate all parts of our self
• Engage our energies in healthy relationships
• Allow the pain that comes with change
• Feeling is healthy
• Practice moment to moment. We honor our Self
• Practice taking 100% responsibility for any interaction when we feel stuck or entangled
• Let the feeling of loss in. It does not stay unchanged forever
• Recall: trauma is trauma is trauma
• Practice appreciation
• Heal our part of relationships

Everyone with a brain injury, no matter how severe, has the ability to learn and since learning allows you to do things better and more efficiently most people get better with practice. Mental and physical exercise can help you to continue to make gains and learn when and how to ask for help from other people.

• Keep trying to develop more effective strategies for doing things
• Stop doing things that don't work
• Focus on your primary goals, monitor progress, and stick with plans that work
• See what works for other people and what doesn't
• Listen to other people's ideas
• Exercise your body and your mind
• Learn from your mistakes
• Ask people that care about you for feedback
• Focus more on what you have and less on what other people have
• Readily acknowledge personal limitation
• Learn to appreciate unpaid activities such as visiting, cooking, housekeeping, gardening, and hobbies
• Give up trying to be the same person you were before the injury
• Don't get angry at yourself because you are not dong better
• Set attainable goals and develop a pattern of success
• Understanding the nature of your physical and emotional recovery can help you feel better

Information Links:

Regional and National Associations

Brain Injury Websites